It’s Day 53/80 and I’ve weighed and I’ve measured. In 53 days, I’ve lost 11.7 lbs. Started this 80 day challenge at 186.3. And now on Day 53, I weigh 174.6. It’s been a while since I’ve been at this weight. It’s nice to be well out of the 180s. It’s not earth shattering results but it’s progress.

In 53 days, I’ve lost 1.5 inches in my chest, 1 inch in my left arm, 1.75 inches in my right arm, 3.75 inches in my waist, 3 inches in my hips, 1.5 inches in my left thigh, and 1.5 inches in my right thigh. A total of 14 inches lost since January 8, 2018.

This is great success. Of course I want to be 30lbs down, but such is not the case.

My wins coming from this, is that change is happening. Physically and mentally (slower than I’d like, but change nonetheless).

I went into this challenge with the mental state that I was going to be successful come hell or high water. I wasn’t happy about it but I committed. And well we keep getting rain dumped on us and it’s super depressing and here I am still doing this challenge… and thus far successfully.

I had blood drawn for my yearly physical and I’m looking forward to being damn near perfect on all the things because of the past 53 days. Crossing fingers for those results!

I’m on the other side of this this challenge now. It’s all downhill from here, right?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. I just stick to the schedule. Take my vitamins. Take my MNS pack. Drink my spark. Drink my Meal Replacement Shake. Eat my snacks. Eat my meals. Workout.

Repeat for the next 28 days! Less than a month away!

But guess what?

Well, I’m pissed. Why? Cause all the yummy things I wanted to eat sound like a waste now. I should be excited. I should be stoked that I feel like I shouldn’t indulge. But I’m not. I’m sad. I’m mourning the loss of the terrible bad foods! Why? Cause I’m a recovering food junkie. That’s why. So I think I’m allowed to be pissed.

I know I am happy for my success so far and I look forward to continued success but today I look sadly at day 81! I hope that when day 81 does show up, I’ll be happy that I didn’t take a swan dive off the wagon into a chocolate fountain, surrounded by nachos and beer.

Oh Advocare, you are winning. This goes way past a 21 day, 24 day, month challenge. After 80 days, you’ve been in it for so long, you can’t just throw it all away. After 80 days, you’re in this. Dropping out on day 81 is a terrible idea.

I’m committed. I’m a robot of routine. And I’m still pissed.

I’m sure I’ll eat pizza or ice cream after 80 days. But I can’t see it happening right now. I can’t visualize it. This is good, right? This the purpose, right?

I know, shut up already, Stephanie. Why are you complaining after you have had positive results? Well I told you… I’m in mourning. My fat kid life is dying. I loved eating all the things. I loved drinking all the things. I just didn’t love being FAT.

I know there will be balance some day. ONE DAY. But I’m still not fully rehabbed. I’m still a work in progress. I still don’t have control. I still must follow a system. I need rules.

So I march on for the next 28 days to see where it takes me. I have no specific goal. Just succeed.

And that’s all I got from dreary ol’ Texas. I’ll check in again soon… hopefully in better spirits.

P.S. So I had this written, ready to publish, but hadn’t done so. Clearly cause I added this little extra. I was texting with a friend and she totally took my blah and made it not so blah. She reminded me that I stayed consistent averaging 1.5 pounds lost a week, which is hard to do. That if it were sunny and 85 degrees, I’d probably be more stoked. And that I probably have gained muscle pounds so my percentage of lean body mass has probably changed and the scale isn’t telling me that! Thanks, Tory 🙂 I feel better about all the things.