Let’s play a little catch up. About 15 weeks ago, I said, I’m done. Too fat. I don’t like it. Need to get to work. Eat better. Work out consistently. Focus.

And instantly, I was awesome at life and lost 50 lbs in 2 months.

WRONG.

But I did get to work instantly and started logging my food. And some days are easy and some days are hard. I’ve thrown tiny temper tantrums. And I’ve balked at going to work out. And I’ve had some food meltdowns. And I did something to my back/hip/hamstring that isn’t terrible but it’s getting in the way of full workouts. But I’ve still had SUCCESS and WINS and GAINS and LOSSES. I’m persevering. I’m doing better. I’m making progress. I feel good. I am strong.

It’s LIFE and life sometimes gets in the way of all the good intentions and hard work. And my life can be crazytown at times. Ernie lost his job. STRESSFUL. Ernie got a new job. LESS STRESSFUL. Boys are ON THE GO 24/7. Football, school, baseball, school, workouts, football, baseball, school, more workouts, school, baseball, football. Work is on overdrive. I’m tired.

Currently, I’m down about 20 lbs, hopefully more. I haven’t weighed in lately but Wednesday is a weigh in day (crossing fingers it’s not terrible). It’s been a stressful, busy week so I’m not counting on me being an additional 5 lbs down, but I’ll be happy with little to no weight gain. And if I gained a pound or two back, I’ll be dissappointed but I know I’ll just get back to getting focused and working hard at my goals. I will let y’all know later this week how that goes down.

I know, however, that I’m still on the right path and I’m not letting a few bumps in the road get in the way. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s easy but I will tell you it’s DOABLE! It doesn’t take extreme discipline but it takes discipline nonetheless. It takes will power. It takes the right mindset to say no to temptations. It takes motivation to get moving. It takes YOU to say YOU want it more than anything right here, right now.

For me, it hasn’t helped that I haven’t been able to go heavy weight or full intensity the past three weeks. It really sucks. I sometimes want to quit. Overall, I do feel better, I’m just not 100%. And when I do certain movements, I feel fine. But right as I finish or put the barbell down, I’m like OH SHIT that doesn’t feel good. It’s a pain I think I can work through, but I’ve learned that if I think I can work through it, I probably shouldn’t. So I don’t! Yay for being smart but booooo for not being able to do as much work.

On the extra busy days where I didn’t have time to get to the box, I fully intended to work out at home. One of the plusses with E losing his job was that all of his weights and a rower came home! We can full on workout in the garage. Sadly, I have only made that happen once… womp, womp. But at least I made it happen. I followed the workout that CrossFit Boom had posted. I still had limitations but that wasn’t going to stop me.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but everything seemed so much heavier all by myself. I was double checking the weight every time making sure I didn’t load the bar incorrectly. I definitely did not feel as strong. It must be the atmosphere of the box that helps. My boom friends who encourage and inspire. I need to find that same feeling when I’m at home so it doesn’t seem so terrible!

So that’s me currently in a nutshell. Limping along to an undefined finish line. Hoping to get healed up so I can full on sprint to the finish line. I’m reassessing my food intake. I haven’t been doing so great at logging. I need a little reset in general. But did I tell you I am tired? Like for real, tired!

Who’s in need of a reset? A reboot? A do-over? Let’s do it y’all.

My apologies for losing my pace on this blog. It’s hard to find the right things to say when I’m not feeling like I’m winning the battle. But at the same time, I want to be real. No fakey, fakerson here. I’m 100% honest with y’all. I have success and I have not so much success. I’m on the struggle bus A LOT! But we can struggle together and we can find momentum together. Thanks for sticking with me 🙂