I weighed in. I will do measurements soon. Here’s where I stand:

On Jan. 8, I weighed in at 186.3! On Nov. 15, I was 179.2. Ugh. Why do I sabotage myself?!?

Today after 10 days of the Herbal Cleanse and being back on track, I’m at 183. So 3.3 pounds down in 10 days. It’s getting back on track and it is what it is. I’m happy for loss but disappointed in myself for letting it get back out of control. Sigh.

Overall I feel better because I’m treating my body better. I could do without the cold weather we have been experiencing but that has nothing to do with my eating 🙂 I’ve had cravings, but I didn’t cave in to any of them. My face broke out a little bit, I guess my body is detoxing a little bit. I’m even waking up before my alarm clock which doesn’t sound like fun, but waking up is a struggle. So it’s good that I’m just “awake!”

So here I am, a girl, on Day 11 of 80 hoping the scale keeps going down and that I don’t let things get out of control. I’m entering the MAX Phase of the 24-Day Jumpstart plan which is the second part of the first phase of my 80 day challenge… how’s that for a description?!?  Keep on swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming.

The Zip to my Doo-Dah hasn’t really cranked up yet. I’m doing this because I have a goal of losing weight and becoming more fit. I’m committed, but feelings of happiness and accomplishment still evade me. This is real-life folks. Not all journeys are rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes you just have to do. Hello, Nike nailed it on the head with “Just Do It.” Can’t get any more direct than that, can you?

I’ve been in the wishy-washy state of maybe I will, maybe I won’t many times. I think most of us live there when it comes to finding good health.  I hear all sorts of things from all sorts of people, including myself.

“I’ll eat better until there’s a birthday party. But I’m gonna have me some cake.” Or, “It’s our first date anniversary, we have to have a celebration dinner. One cheat meal isn’t going to kill me.”

OR… “I need to lose weight before I go to the gym.” That’s my favorite. Or, “I gotta do cardio for a few weeks before I start lifting weights.”

EXCUSES. We all have them. I’m not here to tell you to never have a piece of cake or that yummy cheat meal. And I’m pretty sure not one of those things will kill you.

But if you want change then at some point you have to change. At some point you need to say I’m gonna do this for me for “X” amount of days. And then I will reward myself with a non-food reward. Hit your goals first, then treat yourself. If it has to be food, let it be food. But don’t go all bat shit crazy and eat all the foods. I say that specifically because I’ve done it… eat all the foods! And then feel sick and then feel regretful. And it’s a terrible cycle of highs and lows.

But Stephanie, you’re no ideal example of health and fitness and you’re telling me to restrict myself and that’s not fair. Well la-de-freakin-da. No I’m not the ideal, but I’m at least trying over here. I’ve been trying since June and have had success and failure. I tell you all the things here publicly. And that’s why I’m bringing a little tough love. Cause I know it sucks some days. And if I can do it, SERIOUSLY, anyone can do it!

For the past 10 days, I haven’t had a cheat, gone rogue or off the rails. Granted it’s only been 10 days, but it’s a start and I’m not hiding or sneaking foods. I live with teen boys who eat all the things. It’s hard. So hard. Those lil terds left sour gummy life savers in my car the other day. Candy = weakness!

I could smell the sugar. My mouth salivated. I was pissed and excited. I was like I could eat the last couple in the bag. No one would even know. They probably forgot they left them. I wanted to eat them. And then I was mad cause surely they know what a temptation that is and I’m weak! How dare they be so inconsiderate!?! Again, TEEN BOYS. Their brains don’t work half the time. Arrrggghhhh. I took a picture and sent it to them. They felt terrible and kept telling me NO. Don’t eat them.

I didn’t eat them. I have to want to change. I have to change to change. As simple and complicated as that can be, I have to own my process right now. I have made the decision come hell or highwater to just freaking do this. No matter if I’m happy, sad, excited, blah, etc. I’m not going to eat the candy, or the stove top stuffing, or the enchiladas my kids want me to make them. I’m not going to eat it. I’m going to have my own weighed and measured food. And they will have their food. And I will be determined and I will have success. I will be an example on how to work for something. I will meet goals and show that I have discipline.

But back to it’s not fair. You can’t deprive yourself, that’s not balance. Blah, blah, blah. It’s not forever. Find your focus. Makes shit happen. If you think you need a cheat meal right off the bat or it’s too hard that’s fine. It’s you. But stop acting like you need to do something. Either do it or don’t. But don’t say you want to lose weight or be fit or whatever else and then sit on your ass doing nothing about it.

Make a goal. Restrict yourself temporarily. Meet your goal. You will have your food/drink day… LATER.

Is it tough to give up stuff? Hell ya. Nobody said it was easy. And if they did, they are LIARS! But can you please grow up for a hot minute and just stick to a plan?

Be prepared for anything. Late at the office, sick kid, car broke down? Have snacks, they don’t have to be perfect but it’s better than the drive through. Have an alternate plan. And don’t starve yourself either, that’s a great set-up for failure. If you know you’re going to have a dinner out on the town, read the menu before you go. Figure out your options. Eat something before you go, so you’re not starving and order the whole menu. And seriously, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t partake in a cocktail. Most of you reading this are grown-ass adults. I don’t see how you can feel pressured or shamed into eating or drinking something when you have goals.

Eating clean for a week, then eating terrible for the weekend is not going to work if you want to lose weight. It’s just not. Hell, eating clean for 2-3 weeks probably isn’t going to do much for the scale if you’re over 35. It takes time. You didn’t gain all that weight in 2-3 weeks. Probably YEARS, right? The weight loss journey is a grind. It’s a long process. It’s not instant and it’s not overnight.

Sounds horrible, I know. I’m an asshole. Life’s not fair. But guess what? You will feel better mentally and physically! I can’t guarantee it cause maybe you have real health issues, but I can say with 100% certainty that things will start looking up.

You’ll sleep better. You’ll feel better. You’ll recover faster. You’ll breathe more easily. Your mind will be more alert. You’ll wake up easier (if you get enough sleep, that is). Your skin and hair get better. You’ll find beauty in strength. You’ll realize you’re a badass and your confidence will grow.

Life is short. I get it. I might get hit by a bus tomorrow. And eating a whole pie wouldn’t have mattered either way. But I’m probably not going to get hit by a bus and guess what I’m not going to regret if I had a cheat meal or not. Cause I’ll be dead.

So, if you want to eat all the things, I really don’t care. If ice cream is really your daily goal, do it. I’m not in a place physically or mentally where ice cream is the daily goal. I’d be 500lbs by the end of the month. But let’s be real, if you can physically afford to eat ice cream daily and you’re in tip top shape, then you’re not the ideal reader for this post.

This is for all of those that “say” they want to lose weight, be healthy, etc. But can’t seem to get through a day or two before they find the excuse as to why they went off the reservation. Life is short but it’s not so short that you can’t get healthy and enjoy the rest of your life healthy, feeling good!

Oh boy, I’ve rambled for too long. I didn’t even get to being active/working out! Another time 🙂

If you got this far, I kept your attention. You want change. Or you just wanted to see if I would stop writing. Who knows!

MAKE THE CHANGE. It’s temporary. It’s making good habits. It’s being better for you and maybe your family too.