It’s been a while since I last wrote to the blogosphere… just a little over a year! But here I am, trying to find my focus YET AGAIN! If you know me, knew me or just found me along the way… I do this mostly for me. But some of it is to help motivate anyone else who is trying to find health and fitness. And also to help motivate all of you slackers out there who are just like me… who fall off the wagon, crawl back on the wagon, and then maybe fall off again!

Several things happened in 2019. I got laid off, I sent my second kid off to college, I gained a lot of weight, I finally found gainful employment, worked out off and on very inconsistently, but right before 2019 ended I finally got my ass back to a gym consistently and now I’m looking forward to a successful 2020!

And today as I write you, I’m stupid sore. I want to give in and eat all the things. I want to take a 5 hour nap everyday.

But I’m not giving in. I jumped back in on my CrossFit membership in December. With that, I tried to clean up my eating. For the most part I didn’t too shabby. But it was the holidays, so it wasn’t perfect. Hell, right now it’s not perfect, but I’m trying hit certain macros and I’m surviving and thriving a little bit!

Yes I mentioned CrossFit. You either love it or hate it. I LOVE IT! And have loved it since day one many moons ago and probably always will. As much as it can suck, there are so many positive things I gain from the CrossFit community.

• I’m competitive. Even though I currently suck at all things, like SERIOUSLY SUCK AT ALL THE THINGS! I do want to be better. The competition is against me. In my head, it’s against all the young whippersnappers out there too, but I know their youth wins overall and let’s be real, I’m not willing to put in that much work to get on their level. But I can pretend and dream, right?!?

• I’m social. I like sharing in misery and success with those around me. We don’t judge each other. We support and encourage. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses and everyone just wants to help everyone get better.
• Fitness. We do work. We work hard. We run, squat, row, bike, jump, lift heavy shit.
• It’s literally for everyone… No matter where you are at in health and fitness. You can start and not die. You may feel like you are going to die, but doubtful that you will. It’s for the first-timer or the fitness expert.
• Barbells. I love when there’s a barbell in the workout. Except if there are thrusters. I DISLIKE thrusters very much, but all other barbell work… I LOVE!

With my return to working out regularly, I’ve learned I have had some losses in strength and cardio. It happens, but it all hurts very much. It’s defeating to know I used to lift heavier and hang on to a work out a little longer. But I have to go in with a fresh mindset that I’m starting over. -ish. I have a base. I know the things. But the things got weak. So I have to fight my old self off. I can’t compare what was to what is. I just have to focus on the now.

Last night, we started a strength program to find our 1 Rep Max Power Clean. Once upon a time, I was hitting 130, not easily, but not struggling. Last night… I struggled with 115! Gah, that kills me. It’s only 15 pounds but it’s 15 pounds! We’ll see what happens in 8 weeks, when we retest. Hopefully, I’ll be putting in the work and hopefully I’ll have a GREAT increase. But any increase will be better than none.

And that’s it folks. My less than inspiring return to blogging is here! Are you in for the ride? Just here to spectate? Waiting to see when how long it takes for me to lose focus and fail miserably? All three are perfectly acceptable. I know who I am. I know where my faults lie. Just trying to find a happy place in life, fitness, and health.