I’m in the final countdown of my Advocare ONE/80 Challenge. Day 80 is Wednesday! Wooohooo!

And I sit here and question myself regularly on what I will do once Day 80 is over and the next day is just a day. What will I do? Who will I be? In my last post I said I think I’m just going to keep on the same path minus the Meal Replacement Shakes. And I still believe that to be true. I’m not making any promises though!

I know that this Challenge has been my life lately, but it’s about to be over and without a “challenge” what is my goal? This is another sad realization that I need to just be strong for me and not be dependent on something. I know I don’t need a gimmick or a fad to get me through. I just need me and mental toughness to stay strong, eat right and stay focused.

It’s not always an easy thing to do though. It’s hard to be on point. But it’s also hard to have one foot in and one foot out. Bahhhhhh! The struggle is f’ing REAL!

This challenge has done so many good things for me but it doesn’t define me. It’s helped me get on the right path. It’s challenged me to be better. But it doesn’t make me who I am.

I do know I have a longer than 80 day journey ahead of me. There’s still a lot of work for me to do, internally and externally. There’s a discipline that still needs to be fine tuned. There’s still weight that needs to be shed. There’s muscle that needs to be added. And there’s the mental strength that needs to grow!

It’s time to make new goals, I just don’t know what they are just yet. I know it’s not a number on the scale or a certain weight on the barbell. Although the scale helps in someway as a guide. And being strong ain’t hurtin nobody! It’s funny how I am in my 40s and still am not certain about who I am!

I guess we may always question ourselves and who we are, I just know it’s me who decides that. And you should know that too! You define you. Not your husband, wife, parents, or kids. Sure they help mold you and are a part of you. But they aren’t the definition of you.

The scale for sure isn’t who you are. A friend of mine was hesitant in posting a video of herself because she felt “big.” I can assure you she is not a big person. But I can relate to her feelings. She is heavier than she is used to being. But she is also STRONG! I don’t know for certain, but I’m pretty sure she’s the strongest she’s ever been. So hello MUSCLES! It took me a long time…  A LONG TIME… for the scale to just be a guide versus being the definition of me. And I’m freakin fat right now! But when I was at a smaller size and thought I was fat, I let the scale rule my life. I thought it made me who I am. I learned over time and not weighing constantly that I could lose weight and feel good without the number defining me.

The scale doesn’t know I have had 3 kids. The scale doesn’t know my stress. The scale doesn’t know that I can front squat 175lbs. The scale doesn’t know I can row 500m in 2 minutes. The scale doesn’t know when I’m on my period. The scale is just a number. It doesn’t make me or break me. I make me or break me.

It’s the same with the barbell. I used to let my failures at the barbell define me. I used to tell myself I’m not strong because I couldn’t lift so much weight. But I learned that it’s not just brute strength that gets the barbell overhead, there’s technique that needs to be learned as well. Just because I can’t lift as much weight as someone next to me doesn’t mean I’m not strong. I’m just not as strong or skilled as that person. I’ve learned to take the PRs and find joy in them, but to not let them define where I’m at in my strength.

The barbell doesn’t know if I had a bad day. The barbell doesn’t know that I didn’t get enough sleep. The barbell doesn’t know that maybe I didn’t eat enough food for that day or better yet if I ate poorly that day. The barbell is a metal bar with some weights on each end. Some days are good, some days are bad.

It doesn’t define me.

I define me. I define my goals and journey.  And you define you! Don’t let inanimate things like scales and barbells tell you who you are. You are so much more!

Our journeys will not be the same. But know that they are similar in that there are wins and fails. There are good days and there are bad days. Goals will morph and change over time, just don’t give up!