Y’all… it’s tough. The grind, the eating, the soreness. I’ve been here before and I’m sure most of you have at some point in your life but getting back to it is a struggle. A few posts ago, I said I’d be more positive. I think I am in general but it’s hard to not be negative nelly when everything hurts and the workouts are KILLING ME… kidding, they are really good workouts, but my inner child doesn’t want to do them!

I am determined to succeed. I will find my happy place and I will do my best to be there for anyone who is struggling on their journey. For some folks it’s easy. It was for me several years ago. And for some folks it’s a struggle, like it is for me currently. It’s a process. It’s a learning process. It’s an experiment… daily.

I think my biggest problem is that I’ve been there, done that. And then I let it all go down the drain. I like to tell myself that I gained weight overnight, but I didn’t. It happened slowly over the course of the past several years. And emotionally that sucks. I get so mad at myself for letting myself get out of control. Then I say screw it. This is who I am and it is what it is. I’m not too terribly unhappy. Food and booze… that filled the void.

And then it doesn’t.

I realize that I’m starting over and it’s not going to be wham bam, abracadabra, overnight – instant FIT. I know my body isn’t just going to bounce back and act like it’s known it’s been fit. It’s been years! I’m OLDer And it’s going to take some time. And some tears. There will be wins and there will be setbacks. Hopefully more wins and less setbacks but I can’t let bumps in the road drag me down.

I’ve shared with y’all my mishaps and oopsies. And I’ve bounced back from them. I think I’m doing alright. Is it so bad that I want to stuff a Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Chick-fil-A in my face? I’m not going to do it, but OMG I want one… so badly. But instead, I go home and eat my clean proteins, veggies and fruit. And surprisingly, I’m satisfied. I don’t need a french fry or dessert. I don’t need chocolate. I don’t need all the little yummy but bad things I would typically eat. It’s still a mind game. And I am going win. I will have a better mindset with time. And I am going to succeed!

The Workouts

MON JULY 17, 2017

Weightlifting: Thruster (1 RM)
MetCon: Team Workout (2 Person Team)
Thrusters and Pull ups (95/65 Rx) aka FRAN times 3!
6 Minute Cap
21-15-9, rest 1 minute after the cap

6 Minute Cap
21-15-9, rest 1 minute after the cap

6 minute Cap
21-15-9

If you’re not from the CrossFit world, then you don’t know Fran. It’s a benchmark workout that all CrossFitters know ’round the world. It doesn’t sound completely horrible at first glance but it’s the worst. Just like it says above 21-15-9 of Thrusters and Pull Ups. So you do 21 Thrusters, 21 Pull Ups, 15 Thrusters, 15 Pull Ups, 9 Thrusters, 9 Pull Ups… as FAST as POSSIBLE. Back in my good ol’ days, I wanted to do this AFAP. Now I’m just happy to survive. The twist on this workout is that we had a partner but we had to do the rep scheme THREE times! Unfortunately for my partner… I was her partner! I don’t have pull ups and I’m slow at thrusters. We managed to finish within each 6 minute time cap, but if it wasn’t for Britt to take up my slack in the third round, we wouldn’t have finished.

It was TERRIBLE.

The good news is that for the weighlifting part of class we did 1RM (one rep max). I was able to get to 115lbs. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a 1RM for thrusters. Either way, I’m happy with that number. My max Clean and Jerk is 120-125ish. So not too shabby.

The warm-up could have been the workout. Seriously.

The MetCon was deceiving. It could have been the heat that was killing me slowly. It was extraordinarily warmer in the box than it has been all summer. It just sucked out all of the oxygen. V-Ups were surprising easy for the first round. Three weeks ago, I could barely do 3 or 4 in a row. For this workout, I did 10 right off the bat, then 8, then 2.

The burpees were terrible. And I’m already terrible at them with all this extra weight on me. So say it with me “TERRIBLE!”

Then on to Clean and Jerks. I love Cleans, I don’t love the Jerks. And after all of the thruster work the day before, I just didn’t want to go overhead. I stayed at a light weight because Coach T said this should be a quick workout… ha. ha. ha. Quick it was not. Took me over 17:11 minutes to finish. But this was my best and quickest movement.

When I went on to do the rest of the rounds, I was much slower all the way around. V-Ups turned into onesie/twosies. My core just couldn’t take it anymore. And burpees were at a snail’s pace.

I’m surviving though and seeing that I’m making gains, even if they are almost microscopic, I’m making gains. I know I can’t move forward if I don’t show up, so I keep showing up.

It’s all about the want-to and the right mindset. I can tell you all day, everday, to get your shit together but you’re not going to listen until you tell yourself to do it. It’s ok though. If I can be the little voice that tells your little voice to get moving, then maybe, just maybe sooner than later you will dig yourself out of the hole you’re in and get to it. Whether it’s eating right, working out or just finishing a project you have at home that you’re putting off. It’s time to wake up and get to it. Stop holding yourself back!

In all my whining and complaining, I will tell you that slowly but surely I’m starting to get excited – At the pounds I’m losing; At the discipline I’m developing; At my happier mindset. I’m waking up easier. Every muscle aches, but my brain is alert and awake. The movements in the workouts aren’t as taxing. The barbell is getting more comfortable. It’s just better. It’s hard to explain. But it’s better.

Are you getting back on track? Struggling? Succeeding? If you’re struggling, just know, “YOU CAN DO IT!” and WOOHOOOO if you’re succeeding! Enjoy the rest of your week 🙂