For those who know me, I’m a whiny little b! Truth! I’m negative a lot of the time even though I don’t really want to be or mean to be. It’s become a bad habit. But after reading some of y’all comments and how nice, encouraging and supportive you all are, I realized, I need to stop being a negative nelly!

I will be better than that. I will start trying to focus on the good things and not so much on the negative. I know how terrible negativity can be even though I don’t feel like I’m truly all that bad on the inside. I do, however, say a lot of dumb shit. And then it slowly becomes me

Don’t get me wrong, I do show up to do work when I work out. And I stand in my kitchen prepping food like a good little prepper. I’m just not exactly “happy” about it! But I should be happy because I’m doing good things. And what does moaning and groaning about it doing for me? Nothing. Just making it more of a chore than something good I’m doing for me!

I know sometimes I mix sarcasm in and am trying to be funny but I’m sure it doesn’t come across that way. Only in my head! I will continue to share my sarcasm though. It’s how I’m wired! But I will also be more optimistic. There’s no way I can meet goals with me just nitpicking all my struggles.

So after a week of eating better in general, I do feel better and it’s not as hard to focus on making the better choices. Do I still want something fried and greasy? Or maybe an ice cream cone? Uhm, yes please! But I’m not going to fall for that trap. I already don’t feel as bloated which is great!

I failed to take measurements of myself but I will this evening, that way I have a point of reference later when I’m oh so successful! (POSITIVITY, right?!?)

But back to my eating, like I said it wasn’t too terrible for my first week of commitment. I just need to plan better for the weekends. Coach Marcus challenged me to work out at least 4 days per week and on Friday’s prep one meal for Sunday so I don’t have any excuses for failure. Fair enough. I will give it a go. But wait, tomorrow is Friday! Arrrghhhh. We’ll see!

I do however have 2 workouts logged for the week and as long as nothing unexpected pops up this evening I will be back at CrossFit Boom tonight and then hopefully tomorrow at some point.

Last night was killer though… we had an 800m run, then 3 rounds of 12 Deadlifts (75lbs), 9 Hang Power cleans (75lbs) and 6 STOH (75lbs), then finish with an 800m run. My sorry attitude didn’t want to run the 800m but my new self said, “you need to start.” I haven’t run (I use that term loosely, I’m more of a shuffler) in well over 16 weeks. My foot was hurt. Running is daunting to my still healing foot. But I “ran” maybe 200m. My calves were on FIRE! It probably didn’t help that we did lots of double unders a few minutes earlier. Then I walked. Then did 10 seconds running 10 seconds walking for the second 400. Then walked the last 200. Got back in and flew through the weight stuff. 75lbs is a little light for the deadlifts and the power cleans but heavy enough for the STOH. Then it was back to running. I probably ran 100m of that last 800m. Time: 23:20. Anything more than a walk and my calves felt like they were going to explode. But everything hurted! My hips, my feet, my hammies, my everything. It’s a start. It’s a process. I have tried to enjoy running, even in my fitter days, it’s just not my thing. If I’m playing a sport, yahoo, I don’t mind running. But just flat out going in a straight line, on a track, up a hill, etc. NOT FUN! But I really should be better at it. We run often at CFB, so I need to do better.

Slowly, but surely. Baby steps!

How’s your journey going? How far are you in? Me, Day 8. I can’t wait for me to say Day 30, 60, 90.